July 24th? You've Got to be Kidding

Well folks, apparently it has been three weeks and one day since mommy blogged last. You don't want to know how long it's been since I blogged last...oh wait, it was the same day. Teehee.

We're having record-breaking heat here in Portland, and I'm none too pleased. However, due to the extreme temperatures, last night I didn't have to sleep in my crate. So life's not all that bad. Daddy put my "baby bed" (I have one small bed, a bit too small for me, and one gargantuan bed that could easily fit three to four of me...thus, the small bed has been affectionately named my "baby bed" and the large one my "big bed") at the foot of his and mommy's bed, I found my new bone and conked out hard. I didn't awake until 4:00am, when I proceeded to go to the front door and bark at whomever (or whatever) was passing by. It was dark and I was half asleep so I'm not really sure what I was barking at. But a minute later I came back to bed. I'm a good dog.

Mom and dad are headed on a bike ride at 7:00am tomorrow. Pray that they return without injury or dehydration.

Heat & Sexiness

Can someone please explain to me what this horrible phenomenon is that seems to have taken over both my house and my yard? Mommy, daddy and the television have been calling it “heat.” Whatever it is, I don’t approve. First, I’ve been stopped up off and on for the last two days and am in dire need of a colon cleanse (which I heard about on an infomercial yesterday while mommy was folding laundry). Apparently, the average human can have upwards of four pounds of fecal matter build up in their system at any one time. That means that I, at my buff and dogly (kind of like manly but the dog version) 18.5 pounds, might have up to .4 pounds! Eek! They didn’t say on the infomercial whether the stats apply to dogs, but in this heat, they must!

I do, however, have a bit of bragging on myself to do. I, being the pimp doggy that I am, was crusin’ at Meat for Cats & Dogs about a month ago picking up some beef nuggets when low and behold, the lady working there said I had sexy legs. You heard right, sexy legs. Check me out, ladies.

Check out that sexy leg. That's right.

Heat and cars do not mix well.

Wha'? Aren't mommy and I cute?

And again, I'm sleepy.