Heat & Sexiness

Can someone please explain to me what this horrible phenomenon is that seems to have taken over both my house and my yard? Mommy, daddy and the television have been calling it “heat.” Whatever it is, I don’t approve. First, I’ve been stopped up off and on for the last two days and am in dire need of a colon cleanse (which I heard about on an infomercial yesterday while mommy was folding laundry). Apparently, the average human can have upwards of four pounds of fecal matter build up in their system at any one time. That means that I, at my buff and dogly (kind of like manly but the dog version) 18.5 pounds, might have up to .4 pounds! Eek! They didn’t say on the infomercial whether the stats apply to dogs, but in this heat, they must!

I do, however, have a bit of bragging on myself to do. I, being the pimp doggy that I am, was crusin’ at Meat for Cats & Dogs about a month ago picking up some beef nuggets when low and behold, the lady working there said I had sexy legs. You heard right, sexy legs. Check me out, ladies.

Check out that sexy leg. That's right.

Heat and cars do not mix well.

Wha'? Aren't mommy and I cute?

And again, I'm sleepy.