Praise the Lord for sea salt and vinegar chips and golf! Mommy and daddy went on a golfing date this afternoon and were gone for about 4 hours. I spent that time on a mission: salvage as many sea salt and vinegar Kettle Chips from the bag in the trash as possible. Mommy had a little snack before they left and threw away the "empty" chip bag in the library trash. As she did this, she later told me, she had a fleeting thought about me possibly getting into the trash since I recently enjoyed the last of a Starbucks Frappuccino from the same trash. Luckily though, the thought left her as quickly as it came.
When mom and dad left the house, I watched them leave as usual -- didn't want them to get any hints as to my agenda. Once they left, I proceeded to meander into the library so as to take the chip bag by surprise. I managed to get the bag out without spilling or removing any other trash, a feat which must remain secretive as I prefer to do all my own stunts. Then I took the bag to the same bed in which I dutifully protected the photos of my cousin, Boston (see Never Fear: Coco to the Rescue).
My little head is rather round so I couldn't make it into the bag through the opening already available. Thus, I proceeded to munch at the bottom of the bag. I could smell the wonderful aroma of sea salt and vinegar and knew I was in business when the first scrap came off. I chewed my way across the bag bottom and made it!! Yippee! The crumbs were mine! They cascaded beautifully across the floor. But I thought, I'll save those for last and got greedy. I licked my way across the open bottom of the bag. Then I licked my way up into the bag. Before I knew what had happened, my head was stuck in the bag! I couldn't get it off! And the chips crumbs were still scattered across the floor, unreachably reminding me of my folly.
And there I remained, trapped by the chip bag, until mom and dad returned.
When the drove up, I was too embarrassed to come to the window to welcome them. I let them think I was napping. But then, mommy came in the door. And you know what she did? She laughed! Of all the nerve. She didn't remove the bag. Instead, she took me into the garage to show daddy and then carried me all the way to the library (on the other side of the house) to get the camera. The proceeding photos document my embarrassment. Enjoy or pity me as you prefer.
Thankfully, the bag wasn't plastic so I didn't suffocate.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
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