Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Redeeming Beauty



As I was getting out of the shower a couple of years ago, my then 2-year-old daughter asked a question for which I was not prepared:

"Mama, what are those lines on your tummy?"

In a matter of moments my mind went from shame to dread at answering to realizing neither of those emotions should have any weight on my answer.  In that moment, the LORD and I had a brief conversation in which He whispered to me inaudibly of the beauty in the creation of life.  Little did I realize at the time that the response He gave me for my precious, inquisitive daughter would be transformative to both of our views on beauty.

"Those are the lines where mama's tummy stretched to make room for you and sissy to grow in my tummy.  Aren't they beautiful?"

Beautiful. Before that moment I never would have described my stretched, baggy, scarred stomach as beautiful.  But that's just what it is.  Somehow within my womb two little girls came into being and grew until the time came for them to join the world.  Nothing about that process should be considered anything but beautiful.  True, there may be pain in the process--physical pain and emotional pain--but the end result is life.  Why should I feel any shame in bodily changes that yielded two amazing little girls?

When my eldest daughter asked her question, she wasn't attempting to point out my deficiencies; she merely noticed something about my body that she hadn't noticed before and wondered what it was.  To her, my having stretchmarks and a C-section scar are no different than my having breasts.  They are a part of what she associates with womanhood and motherhood, both of which she aspires to with all the daydreaming of a typical little girl.  In that moment, I was given the opportunity to either communicate dissatisfaction with motherhood or joy.  And, through the Holy Spirit's prompting, I was able to communicate joy even in one of my least favorite parts of being a mother.

She doesn't always notice my stretchmarks these days, but when she points them out, it's with comments like:

"I love your pretty lines, mama."

My pretty lines.  That's just what they are.  Beautiful reminders of the joys and terrors, the difficulties and triumphs of birthing children.  May I daily embrace all that God has given me, the pleasant and the not-so-pleasant, knowing that my body is a temple that I am called to care for and use, not for my own glory, but for the glory of the LORD.

A Place to Ponder

It has been a good long while since I've written anything public longer than a Facebook post (which those who know me isn't short by any means).  Lately I've had various ponderings on my heart heavily enough to want to write about them lest the pain and triumph be lost to my ever-increasing bouts of memory failure that have plagued me ever since my first pregnancy.

I no longer plan to write as any sort of chronological diary of our lives but rather to simply write on topics the LORD lays on my heart as being important enough to share.  The first of such topics is the beauty of stretchmarks.  Yep, I just used beauty and stretchmarks in the same sentence.

I also have plans to write a series on feeling done, as in ready to move away and start over either in a convent or as a celibate working woman living alone--because I cannot possibly be the only mother who has felt ready to be done with all the demands of mothering small children and keeping a home.

Other ideas are swirling in my mind but for now I must bid you adieu as my glamorous life as a stay-at-home mama beckons me.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I'm Back

So maybe I won't start posting more frequently.  But I just had an absolutely fabulous play date with a friend I met through the blog and it has me inspired to at least start trying to post little snippets again.  I think of posting things but then feel pressure to post long updates since it's been so long and then never end up posting.  Now that daily visits to my site have become a very small number, I don't feel as much pressure so maybe I'll pick it up again.

For now, here are a few of our most recent happenings...

  • Kit and Elise fed a giraffe (see photo below) at the Boise Zoo while we were visiting his sister and her family.  They both loved the experience, Elise so much so that she told me all about it again in detail at breakfast this morning even though I was there to witness the event and even though it happened three weeks ago.
  • Evelyn is walking now.  Not all the time, but she mostly tries to walk wherever she goes.  If she's in a huge hurry, she gives up more quickly but otherwise she tries to walk rather than crawl.  And she's talking more and more.  Lately, her favorite thing to say is "all done."  She says it both when she is all done and when she just wants to be impressive and say the words.
  • I ran my first ever 5K last night!!  I started Couch to 5K in February or March and then took a break because of a couple of trips (one to my parents' and one to Kit's sister's) and multiple illnesses (a cold, a horrible virus that had me in bed for a few days, lingering exhaustion from said virus and another cold).  But I've started up again and ran an actual, full fledged 5K (a bit more even) last night.  I was thinking of doing a race but decided to reward myself instead with a pair of running shorts since the price was about the same.  Unfortunately, the shorts are sold out online so now I have to see about finding a store here that sells them.
And now for some photos...












Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Evie's First Word

We got new phones in the mail today (finally joining the world of phones with keyboards) and I took a couple of pictures of Evie.  She loves getting her picture taken and almost always smiles when we say, "Say Cheese!"  While we were taking pictures, she actually said, "Cheese!"  Although we didn't end up with any great photos, we did end up making a memory of her saying her first word!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

March of Dimes Walk for Babies

This year Kit and I will be walking with the girls in the March of Dimes Walk for Babies here in Portland.  If you'd like to either donate or to join our walk, check out the link below or the widget in the sidebar to the right.  Elise benefited greatly during her time in the NICU from the research March of Dimes has done.  It is a large part of why she is so strong and healthy today.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Elise is Two!!

March 7th
2009

2010

        2011

Yep, that's right.  Elise turned two yesterday!  I'm sure most of us don't remember much about our second birthdays.  So here's a recap of her day...
  • Played people and drank water while mama had her coffee and read her study.
  • Said, "More wet," as I took off her diaper to take a shower this morning and then walked over unprompted and went potty in her potty chair.
  • Moisturized her face after our shower all on her own (using spit she got from her own mouth repeatedly with her hand).
  • Noticed a sippy cup on the counter that someone left here during her party. We didn't know whose it was and were planning to send out a message to see who left it. But she looked at it all on her own and said, "Lua. Ro-Ro cup." I sent a text to my friend Lua to check. And sure enough, it's her son Roman's.
  • Colored a "pincess" picture from her new princess coloring book (thanks Williams family!) with a pen while wearing her new pink tutu.



  • Drank her milk at all three meals from her new sparkly heart cup (thanks Stuck family!) rather than a sippy or straw cup.
  • Poured yogurt with a spoon into said big girl cup and then drank the milk/yogurt mix.


  • Went potty in the potty chair again in the afternoon.
  • Tried to spit in the sink when brushing her teeth after seeing mom do so.
  • Played many games with her little sister, such as lean-near-each-other-and-giggle, let-sissy-tickle-her, pretend-to-eat-sissy's-hand-while-giggling-with-her, take-toys-away-and-give-them-back, and kiss-sissy's-head-and-say-sorry-after-accidentally-hurting-her.
  • Watched some VeggiesTales and some Barney, trying to talk and sing and clap along.  (One of our favorites is when she says, "Thank you, Lord," after some Irish characters in VeggieTales say it during a story about Saint Patrick.
  • Played the "Hi" game with mama that she made up a while back.  She usually starts by saying, "Hi, Mama!" (or whomever's name she picks) in a normal voice and waits for you to say, "Hi, Elise."  Then she furrows her brow and says it again in a deep voice or raises her brows a bit and says it in a high voice, then waiting for you to say hi back in that same voice.  It's a game she can play for a long times and one that induces lots of giggles.
  • Devoured her dinner - one of her favorites: orzo with red sauce and sausage.  And then devoured her dessert - another one of her favorites: M&M's from her Dad-Dad (Kit's dad).
She did many more cute things yesterday but those are the ones that come to mind.  On Saturday she also had a fun birthday party so I'll post on that soon.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Elise's First Tall Tale Story

Yesterday in the car, Elise started whining and saying that her leg was "owie."  Since I couldn't stop driving to go back and kiss her leg (which is what she wanted), I attempted distraction.  So I asked her if an alligator tickled her leg.  Since "alligator" and "tickle" are both words that she loves, she responded, "Yes."  She then proceeded to make up a story about said alligator.  We talked back and forth during this process so that I could clarify and compose the story.  I recorded myself reciting the story back to her on my phone so that I could document it accurately, and at the end of the recording, she says, "Yes," so I think I got it right.  Without further adieu, here is Elise's first attempt at fiction writing...

Tip the Alligator
by Elise, Age 23 Months

An alligator named Tip tickled my leg
Then he ate alligator soup.
Then he went to the park and went whee [rode the swings].
Then he went potty.
And then he saw a doggy.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Cheese...

Lately, when I ask Elise to "Say Cheese," I usually get something like this...

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Prayer

Please pray for Sean and Ashley, a couple from the church we used to attend.  Ashley gave birth to their twin boys yesterday at only 24 weeks.  The boys weighed 1 pound, 9 ounces each.  One was 13 inches and the other 12.5 inches.  I don't know any other details, but my heart was literally aching (not a common thing for me) last night when I heard the news.  It's a tough experience to go through, and I cannot even begin to imagine going through it with not just one but two babies.  (And they also have an older son.)  If you could take a moment or two to pray for their family and the long roller coaster journey they are embarking on, it would be much appreciated.

Crawler

We've been pretty confident that Evelyn could crawl (albeit as if she's dancing the worm) for a while.  However, she tends to just like to scoot around in a small space and then cry to be picked up.  That is, unless there's a big motivator to get her going.  A couple of weeks ago, she found that motivator - leaves.  It was impossible to keep her on her blanket.






Saturday, January 29, 2011

Sleeping Beauties

A few nights ago, we smelled that wonderful smell that can only be a stinky diaper coming from Elise's room when we went to go to bed.  We went in, expecting her to wake up since her door sticks, but she didn't.  So I ran and got the camera to capture her sleeping.  Note that she sucks on a huge chunk of her blanket (making me very glad that she has four of them that I can rotate to keep them from being overly gross) and that she had gotten out of bed before falling asleep and brought her Crocs back to bed with her.  She really likes shoes.




And for some reason I had to wake Evie up a few days later and discovered her sleeping with her little bum up in the air.  She, too, was sound asleep so I was able to photograph the moment.



Friday, January 28, 2011

Munchies

Evelyn has yet to get any teeth at this point (though she's been teething two on the bottom off and on for a couple of months).  So since there's no danger of her actually biting off chunks of food, I occasionally let her munch on a carrot stick or an apple slice.  She loves them both.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Evie's First Stroller Ride

The weather has been spring-like here for the past few days so this afternoon the girls and I went for a walk to the park.  Elise has been wanting to walk everywhere we go lately so I decided to go ahead and try loading Evie into the stroller and letting Elise walk instead of Evie in the Ergo and Elise in the stroller.  We headed out before the time in which we could actually go to the playground since it's part of a school so walked all over this big field near the park.  I couldn't believe how much energy Elise had to walk and walk.  She's also very chatty when she walks so it was fun hearing all she had to say.

And Evie?  Well, let's just say that for the first half of the hour and forty five minutes we were gone, every time I would check on her in the stroller, she was grinning.  She absolutely loved it!  I sent Kit a picture on my phone and he did a double-take when he realized it was a picture of Evie and not Elise.  She's getting so big!